{"title":"Millennial Crisis","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eBecause growing up was inevitable, but taking it seriously was not.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"refusing-to-age-gracefully","title":"Age Appropriate","description":"\u003cp\u003eGetting older was inevitable. \u003cem\u003eBecoming respectable was not.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Refusing to Age Gracefully”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has accumulated the years without developing the appropriate amount of maturity to go with them.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSure, we're older. We know better now. We've learned from our mistakes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome of them, anyway.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut getting older doesn't mean becoming boring, sensible, or suddenly interested in acting whatever age we're apparently supposed to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone with a birth certificate, a few good stories, and absolutely no intention of going quietly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAge is just a number. Maturity remains optional.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":53855113314669,"sku":"18816518556373359275","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53855113347437,"sku":"14866431812322724965","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53855113380205,"sku":"18196561382223772101","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53855113412973,"sku":"14639872850399291294","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Military Green","offer_id":53855113445741,"sku":"24362200107511291313","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53855113478509,"sku":"17178798012923902680","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":53855113511277,"sku":"29817272849437206365","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53855113544045,"sku":"17461870320317820882","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53855113576813,"sku":"37555824555890171068","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53855113609581,"sku":"25941314940962930987","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Military Green","offer_id":53855113642349,"sku":"10190064378438598823","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53855113675117,"sku":"21251732641448603721","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":53855113707885,"sku":"20757098433161871456","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53855113740653,"sku":"20891640868460789041","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53855113773421,"sku":"19536183540134615366","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53855113806189,"sku":"88180548622639894970","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Military Green","offer_id":53855113838957,"sku":"13014065570330229786","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53855113871725,"sku":"29921568851070667878","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53855113904493,"sku":"23187205822050457425","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53855113937261,"sku":"20939777517165446367","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53855113970029,"sku":"97639127142577607632","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53855114002797,"sku":"96558111335938757736","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53855114035565,"sku":"12544310085036881056","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53855114068333,"sku":"11587521939754084407","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53855114101101,"sku":"40772591875817433053","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53855114133869,"sku":"20036017566780511493","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53855114166637,"sku":"16651787868873945907","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Military Green","offer_id":53855114199405,"sku":"15904414286289928977","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53855114232173,"sku":"48551574350943499830","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53855114264941,"sku":"23541771592335477454","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260902125643-1f1a6cdb-f2ae-667c-89f1-5a4b65afdf15.png?v=1790020843"},{"product_id":"skeleton-relaxing-tee","title":"Proving a Point","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStill here. Mostly to prove a point.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Alive Out of Spite”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has ever kept going for the extremely mature reason that quitting would give someone else way too much satisfaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSure, personal growth is nice. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBut have we considered being incredibly stubborn?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSometimes that's the fuel. You get up. You handle your business. You survive another ridiculous plot twist and continue existing with an increasingly unreasonable amount of determination.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt this point, we've come too far to stop now.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who may not have a particularly inspiring reason for keeping it together, but somehow keeps showing up anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOut of spite. \u003cem\u003eWith snacks.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53855449481581,"sku":"18385064510978625449","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53855449514349,"sku":"10119346176074968731","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53855449547117,"sku":"19172677713949980429","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53855449579885,"sku":"11279484314956792863","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53855449612653,"sku":"43454755060595665798","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53855449645421,"sku":"28164986660425634637","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53855449678189,"sku":"22591239374359935670","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53855449710957,"sku":"72521153455915491498","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53855449743725,"sku":"37345649609446321260","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53855449776493,"sku":"23221092216315175893","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260902133725-1f1a6d36-eb65-6cc0-85cd-26fd919b232b.png?v=1790020598"},{"product_id":"original-avoidant","title":"Unavailable","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSome people recharge by being around other people. Fascinating.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Avoiding People Since Forever”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who sees a full calendar and immediately starts looking for something they can cancel.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's not that you hate people. You like people.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eJust not all at once. Or for very long.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere comes a point when protecting an empty Saturday starts feeling less antisocial and more like excellent decision-making. Staying home isn't missing out when staying home was the thing you wanted to do in the first place.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who has finally stopped feeling guilty about needing a little space from everybody.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSocial battery sold separately.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53861644566893,"sku":"30126169835653280969","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53861644599661,"sku":"10300776130314954111","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53861644632429,"sku":"76776048331167876782","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53861644665197,"sku":"32257960109925646645","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53861644697965,"sku":"66665601961137285029","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53861644730733,"sku":"45775219634433749806","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53861644763501,"sku":"27617115925830595553","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53861644796269,"sku":"16867086854317813291","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53861644829037,"sku":"62671035271565925938","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53861644861805,"sku":"14204922973653561375","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53861644894573,"sku":"15374554280435885093","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53861644927341,"sku":"12820196390719265633","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53861644960109,"sku":"13106516749743116698","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53861644992877,"sku":"30414194853299147103","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53861645025645,"sku":"10071048029973605317","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260902230256-1f1a7226-f3eb-62f6-a0c0-e65ef97b04db.png?v=1790020823"},{"product_id":"character-development","title":"Character Development","description":"\u003cp\u003eSomewhere along the way, \u003cstrong\u003eMonday stopped being a day and became a personal attack.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Building Character Since Monday”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has decided that exhaustion, inconvenience, and a truly unnecessary number of minor problems must all be part of some larger personal growth opportunity.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAt least, that's what we're telling ourselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou handle one thing. Something else happens. You fix that. Another completely unrelated problem appears.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eApparently, the plot needed more conflict.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut somehow, you keep going — slightly more tired, heavily caffeinated, and developing an increasingly impressive backstory along the way.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who has been through enough this week to qualify as a fully developed protagonist.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCharacter development is exhausting. Coffee helps.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53882836844909,"sku":"25821408388447301153","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53882836877677,"sku":"29793404642975038747","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53882836910445,"sku":"41448099976671488951","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53882836943213,"sku":"21752533652385427084","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Light Pink","offer_id":53882836975981,"sku":"23674558574596209172","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53882837008749,"sku":"36568743836418332863","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53882837041517,"sku":"27326552843062726938","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53882837074285,"sku":"13374364918938691383","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53882837107053,"sku":"13704479102487439205","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Light Pink","offer_id":53882837139821,"sku":"10991899439047906072","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53882837172589,"sku":"25616134525496584292","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53882837205357,"sku":"32613910153665485216","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53882837238125,"sku":"16298698232965716127","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53882837270893,"sku":"73647082243700379112","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Light Pink","offer_id":53882837303661,"sku":"33503438086140008503","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53882837336429,"sku":"82083021006534549919","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53882837369197,"sku":"26832288877438211400","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53882837401965,"sku":"17593537912392241091","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53882837434733,"sku":"29019684881740602519","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Light Pink","offer_id":53882837467501,"sku":"18378842113493489680","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53882837500269,"sku":"26516428757822247811","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53882837533037,"sku":"11942462336356014516","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53882837565805,"sku":"33995488407328244329","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53882837598573,"sku":"88434894908360550630","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Light Pink","offer_id":53882837631341,"sku":"17438872925543195096","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Light Pink","offer_id":53882837664109,"sku":"16345348052896936502","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260904204037-1f1a8a0e-28b9-607e-8cac-de92b664676b.png?v=1790019724"},{"product_id":"per-my-last-email","title":"Per My Last Email","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYour inner monologue is screaming. Your email says, “Happy to help!”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Dead Inside, Business Casual Outside”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has mastered the delicate art of sounding completely professional while internally questioning every decision that led them here.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou attend the meeting. You answer the email. You circle back. You type \u003cstrong\u003e“No problem!”\u003c\/strong\u003e when there was, in fact, a problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA surprisingly large problem.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut you handle it. Because somewhere along the way, adulthood taught us how to be exhausted, irritated, and completely over it while still signing off with \u003cstrong\u003e“Best regards.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who can keep it professional even when their last remaining nerve has officially left the building.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDead inside. Dress code compliant.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53882898383213,"sku":"11746378935785015749","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53882898415981,"sku":"23659866177091521652","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53882898448749,"sku":"17354627814779755601","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53882898481517,"sku":"11316436115235647873","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53882898514285,"sku":"72771462343377144270","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260904210013-1f1a8a39-f56c-633e-bb7b-0262ba416037.png?v=1790020816"},{"product_id":"please-try-again-later","title":"Please Try Again Later","description":"\u003cp\u003eRemember when someone could call your house, get a busy signal, and simply... \u003cstrong\u003etry again later?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Ask Me About Busy Signals”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who remembers when being unreachable was a completely normal part of life.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf the phone was busy, it was busy. If nobody answered, nobody answered. There was no follow-up text. No \u003cstrong\u003e“???”\u003c\/strong\u003e three minutes later. No expectation that every person you knew should be available at all times. Your whereabouts simply remained a mystery.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd honestly, there was something \u003cem\u003ekind of nice about that.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause sometimes being unavailable wasn't a boundary. \u003cstrong\u003eYou just weren't home.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who remembers when immediate access to another human being was not considered a basic expectation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd somehow, civilization survived.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53883008876909,"sku":"69960563875589435311","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53883008909677,"sku":"23366649707091450115","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53883008942445,"sku":"24857221631831229730","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53883008975213,"sku":"16997983830553772213","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53883009007981,"sku":"80667513916432236798","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53883009040749,"sku":"16997478743415231374","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53883009073517,"sku":"31728830851518197191","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53883009106285,"sku":"16953812111162369707","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53883009139053,"sku":"21681774525972135132","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53883009171821,"sku":"16145017858661548807","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53883009204589,"sku":"20084365370314176763","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53883009237357,"sku":"27354038404585561525","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53883009270125,"sku":"20631300355200236908","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53883009302893,"sku":"21969810226079401351","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53883009335661,"sku":"29221923027872291850","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53883009368429,"sku":"12473333036848459834","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53883009401197,"sku":"39834169396102708070","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53883009433965,"sku":"84973619758787947792","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53883009466733,"sku":"11088546122934584506","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53883009499501,"sku":"14972264889363787234","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260904214418-1f1a8a9c-7c8c-6bfe-bd26-c688aecb7fc0.png?v=1790347622"},{"product_id":"adorably-rude","title":"Adorably Rude","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome advice is easier to take when it comes from a cute little face.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Don’t Be a Butt Munch”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who genuinely tries to be nice but occasionally encounters someone who makes that unnecessarily difficult.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou could take the high road. You could calmly communicate your feelings like a well-adjusted adult.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBut sometimes a gentle reminder feels more appropriate.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNothing too harsh. Nothing that requires an apology later. Just enough to let someone know they may want to reconsider whatever it is they're currently doing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who believes a little attitude is perfectly acceptable when delivered with enough charm.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBe nice. \u003c\/strong\u003eBut keep your options open.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53893518786925,"sku":"27178122720473862535","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53893518819693,"sku":"16959058553234560322","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53893518852461,"sku":"22814894157485716989","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53893518885229,"sku":"43953456695732888290","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53893518917997,"sku":"31490799319360433114","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53893518950765,"sku":"21347601604521180437","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53893518983533,"sku":"38278177459156140956","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53893519016301,"sku":"19549855951644955088","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53893519049069,"sku":"27631130666190045642","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53893519081837,"sku":"28329419735594302822","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53893519114605,"sku":"26823242322528507582","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53893519147373,"sku":"19404659296208835508","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53893519180141,"sku":"27954599794909315979","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53893519212909,"sku":"17517305316972390815","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53893519245677,"sku":"16885298766686020763","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53893519278445,"sku":"28755876846425324571","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53893519311213,"sku":"15403315382055847018","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53893519343981,"sku":"11291458350883884187","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53893519376749,"sku":"79203664023112322358","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53893519409517,"sku":"23071505399190551254","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260906124839-1f1a9f14-854d-661c-8527-4269ba1ed718.png?v=1790003860"},{"product_id":"vintage-condition","title":"Vintage Condition","description":"\u003cp\u003eWe used to watch VHS tapes get worn out.\u003cstrong\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNow we're apparently doing the same thing.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Aging Like VHS”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who remembers video stores, rewinding tapes, and when thirty sounded \u003cstrong\u003eancient\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBack then, you knew a tape had been through it when the picture got fuzzy, the tracking started acting up, or—worst of all—the tape came spilling out of the cassette.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNow, we’re starting to relate to that tape a little more than we’d like. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTurns out a little wear and tear is inevitable. Things creak. Recovery takes longer. And occasionally we, too, could probably benefit from being gently rewound with a pencil.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who's a little worn, slightly unreliable, and increasingly comfortable calling all of that \u003cstrong\u003echaracter\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAged. Worn. \u003cem\u003eFully unraveled.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":53893807014253,"sku":"29722827501573234313","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53893807047021,"sku":"27632024195285604448","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53893807079789,"sku":"11759013775175660543","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53893807112557,"sku":"17189173418428764210","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53893807145325,"sku":"26822087118858600884","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":53893807178093,"sku":"14981170354725212159","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53893807210861,"sku":"22269370507044899957","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53893807243629,"sku":"18495553539388414592","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53893807276397,"sku":"14211003920195544530","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53893807309165,"sku":"47039443370736522380","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":53893807341933,"sku":"20005502374655188729","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53893807374701,"sku":"14967852755565543599","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53893807407469,"sku":"25580687129123620891","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53893807440237,"sku":"94710353313382313362","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53893807473005,"sku":"13909701424747431121","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53893807505773,"sku":"12288460949247648772","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53893807538541,"sku":"15288894554967333562","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53893807571309,"sku":"62421562620961727404","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53893807604077,"sku":"52598966274454464771","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53893807636845,"sku":"14334405257281594608","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53893807669613,"sku":"22950516484117927000","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53893807702381,"sku":"29618607051843979846","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53893807735149,"sku":"44165388923241134736","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53893807767917,"sku":"23600385141360228849","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53893807800685,"sku":"58191306679534279845","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53893807833453,"sku":"81791798133090387731","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260906135757-1f1a9faf-7289-66d4-839e-12a1560e6a89.png?v=1790347492"},{"product_id":"functioning-ish","title":"Functioning-ish","description":"\u003cp\u003eAt this point, caffeine is doing most of the heavy lifting and denial is handling everything else.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Running on Caffeine and Denial”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the millennial who has bills to pay, emails to answer, and absolutely no interest in examining how any of this happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSomehow, things keep getting done. Responsibilities are handled. Deadlines are met. From a reasonable distance, this whole operation may even appear functional.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo need to investigate further.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSometimes adulthood is less about having it all together and more about finding whatever keeps the wheels on for another day.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone doing a surprisingly convincing impression of someone who knows what they're doing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTake a sip. Ignore the evidence. Keep moving.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe’re fine.\u003cstrong\u003e This is fine.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53895255458157,"sku":"98681633025068527608","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53895255490925,"sku":"20631150675390743352","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53895255523693,"sku":"18912146845731788446","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53895255556461,"sku":"79877441629723364494","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53895255589229,"sku":"53542784928404374061","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Light Pink","offer_id":53895255621997,"sku":"15830671567714440127","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53895255654765,"sku":"12684916004189928588","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53895255687533,"sku":"21782780454598591421","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53895255720301,"sku":"18128530890937094680","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53895255753069,"sku":"13759332415214099051","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53895255785837,"sku":"25993626778238286282","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Light Pink","offer_id":53895255818605,"sku":"27208029712652206028","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53895255851373,"sku":"29821261351053409563","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53895255884141,"sku":"22792184929410580977","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53895255916909,"sku":"94321529391385076905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53895255949677,"sku":"12080344219009887200","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53895255982445,"sku":"18146805759447180459","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Light Pink","offer_id":53895256015213,"sku":"11989364103264155702","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53895256047981,"sku":"57771636451661657446","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53895256080749,"sku":"28343003559901334191","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53895256113517,"sku":"29584538469482717828","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53895256146285,"sku":"15947338586723803461","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53895256179053,"sku":"27580257148395158373","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Light Pink","offer_id":53895256211821,"sku":"28402811839854128861","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53895256244589,"sku":"31381472271059956788","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53895256277357,"sku":"99507298710162486276","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53895256310125,"sku":"20287322471974329037","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53895256342893,"sku":"10477251392283381806","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53895256375661,"sku":"13177452684981610224","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Light Pink","offer_id":53895256408429,"sku":"11490452272763362414","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Light Pink","offer_id":53895256441197,"sku":"32076152308484267662","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260907012940-1f1aa5b9-8b9f-6956-a70e-de4cc3be1fd3.png?v=1790020969"},{"product_id":"retirement-plan","title":"Retirement Plan","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAt some point, the cats became the priority and everything else became optional.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Entering My Cat Lady Era”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who thought adulthood would involve goals, schedules, and responsibilities, only to discover their actual calling was talking to cats like they understand every word.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou know their personalities. Their sleeping habits. Their weird little behaviors. You have full conversations with them and occasionally answer on their behalf.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThis seems perfectly normal.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd honestly, there are worse ways to spend your time than becoming increasingly obsessed with tiny creatures who contribute absolutely nothing financially and somehow still run the house.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe embroidery-inspired print gives the design a cozy, handmade feel without the extra weight of traditional stitching.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who would rather discuss their cat’s latest behavior than attend another meeting or make another phone call.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAdulting is temporary. Cat obsession is forever.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53900467143021,"sku":"26725963896432246402","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53900467175789,"sku":"49855266536801904794","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Military Green","offer_id":53900467208557,"sku":"47327062930942891170","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900467241325,"sku":"18326556930929417336","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Maroon","offer_id":53900467274093,"sku":"26450456027352458230","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53900467306861,"sku":"32107338605018041447","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53900467339629,"sku":"23065327263882441391","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Military Green","offer_id":53900467372397,"sku":"26526418563688983369","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900467405165,"sku":"12239374969049706832","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Maroon","offer_id":53900467437933,"sku":"25066734466725911594","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53900467470701,"sku":"29438561637382150167","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53900467503469,"sku":"31296566172285189343","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Military Green","offer_id":53900467536237,"sku":"18032046035682357139","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900467569005,"sku":"25908651634049695471","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Maroon","offer_id":53900467601773,"sku":"21201416403886055507","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53900467634541,"sku":"84741443319575691271","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53900467667309,"sku":"58870662551730097993","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900467700077,"sku":"42818562904017210438","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Maroon","offer_id":53900467732845,"sku":"61710691406822512924","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53900467765613,"sku":"10613882454069122056","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53900467798381,"sku":"34022051237242841534","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Military Green","offer_id":53900467831149,"sku":"29750649048266581969","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900467863917,"sku":"33557610411462639244","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Maroon","offer_id":53900467896685,"sku":"29900842081655358737","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heather Maroon","offer_id":53900467929453,"sku":"15296901469570716201","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260907111837-1f1aaadd-ed42-63c4-86d4-66cecbbea210.png?v=1790023446"},{"product_id":"avoidance-department","title":"Pending","description":"\u003cp\u003eSomewhere along the way, “circle back” became a threat instead of a phrase.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Circle Back Never”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has quietly decided that\u003cem\u003e not every conversation actually requires a follow-up.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe email came in. The notification was seen. The request has been acknowledged internally.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThat feels sufficient.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause sometimes protecting your peace means recognizing that certain things can wait until tomorrow. Or next week. Or until everyone involved collectively forgets about them.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who has mastered the art of delayed replies and knows that not everything deserves an immediate response.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAvailable for discussion later. Maybe.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 64000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Bangladesh\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors , Do not bleach, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: low heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53900872384877,"sku":"29698063633334325525","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53900872417645,"sku":"21642349629140620044","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53900872450413,"sku":"63171738122063887852","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900872483181,"sku":"27472791325596636401","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53900872515949,"sku":"27483285408308637817","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53900872548717,"sku":"88402714811903908888","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53900872581485,"sku":"16084736309563097959","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900872614253,"sku":"16200312586719120994","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53900872647021,"sku":"24141788279418172874","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53900872679789,"sku":"23207982250456531509","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53900872712557,"sku":"10431911407667392097","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900872745325,"sku":"19257632682057187592","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53900872778093,"sku":"11616094466253288699","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53900872810861,"sku":"61235319664095865710","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53900872843629,"sku":"18518725935413077738","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900872876397,"sku":"15214930630824253405","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53900872909165,"sku":"18982394370731137635","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53900872941933,"sku":"10360418814756418335","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53900872974701,"sku":"21434789989072778215","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900873007469,"sku":"20514346598286958162","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260907123950-1f1aab93-7ad9-634e-97a0-b6ba39cd3845.png?v=1790021205"},{"product_id":"shutdown-mode","title":"Shutdown Mode","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe social battery has left the building.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“The Vibes Are Closed”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has reached the point where the outside world can politely wait until further notice.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe headphones are on. The notifications are being ignored. Nobody needs to know whether you're actually listening to anything.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe important thing is that you look unavailable.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSometimes you don't need plans, conversation, or one more person asking you a quick question. You need your peace, your playlists, and the beautiful moment when absolutely nobody needs anything from you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who knows when it's time to shut down operations and retreat into their own little corner of the universe.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCurrently unavailable. \u003cstrong\u003ePlease try again never.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":53900942311789,"sku":"39146133004324348804","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53900942344557,"sku":"51168285468801331103","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53900942377325,"sku":"94339752938946743836","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53900942410093,"sku":"24239302206419489763","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900942442861,"sku":"25656918875023438475","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":53900942475629,"sku":"13286695328419420925","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53900942508397,"sku":"23807385711686249420","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53900942541165,"sku":"29335650448030423266","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53900942573933,"sku":"16752492332837385572","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900942606701,"sku":"59156846520377449406","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":53900942639469,"sku":"25325228140812340326","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53900942672237,"sku":"25401399662215790935","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53900942705005,"sku":"19393387545271491827","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53900942737773,"sku":"30242178343767158709","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900942770541,"sku":"17507366014392477994","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53900942803309,"sku":"11979775881888994874","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53900942836077,"sku":"63625291895946559347","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53900942868845,"sku":"36793126334187627082","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53900942901613,"sku":"23504225613350740437","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900942934381,"sku":"32089352082704555502","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53900942967149,"sku":"15951105685446029244","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53900942999917,"sku":"30003146900733278706","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53900943032685,"sku":"37292877807885892796","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53900943065453,"sku":"75657147392806370386","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53900943098221,"sku":"19627377473218350074","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53900943130989,"sku":"97093444176658120117","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260907125826-1f1aabbd-0d17-63cc-bba9-4685f617e55b.png?v=1790131027"},{"product_id":"distant-admirer","title":"Distant Admirer","description":"\u003cp\u003eA polite request. A firm boundary.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Please Admire From a Distance”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who enjoys being appreciated but would prefer we not turn this into a whole interaction.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou may look. You may appreciate. You may even think, \u003cem\u003ewow, what an interesting and delightful person.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAll perfectly acceptable from over there.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause wanting a little attention and wanting to actually socialize are two very different things, and some of us have finally stopped pretending otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who enjoys a little personal space, \u003cstrong\u003ea little mystery\u003c\/strong\u003e, and the rare joy of existing without being interrupted.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLook, \u003cem\u003edon’t approach.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Charcoal","offer_id":53932414730605,"sku":"38994385196967453777","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":53948895986029,"sku":"21130072903457043212","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Charcoal","offer_id":53932414763373,"sku":"44339327861170159021","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53932414796141,"sku":"10082980496965713588","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Charcoal","offer_id":53932414828909,"sku":"19212645449510246893","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53932414861677,"sku":"85812690963139338273","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Charcoal","offer_id":53932414894445,"sku":"17411787519994761975","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53932414927213,"sku":"23185792543001652569","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Charcoal","offer_id":53932414959981,"sku":"24685557257539336335","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53932414992749,"sku":"13109451464122855014","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Charcoal","offer_id":53932415025517,"sku":"13277692312291038240","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53932415058285,"sku":"26283485941455956540","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260909224447-1f1aca00-f35d-680c-8d3d-6a890f44ccc4.png?v=1790129835"},{"product_id":"under-the-circumstances","title":"Under the Circumstances","description":"\u003cp\u003eSometimes you don’t need to work through it. You need to crawl under something and become unavailable for a while.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Emotionally Hiding Under a Porch”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has ever looked at their responsibilities, their unread messages, and the general state of everything and thought, \u003cem\u003eabsolutely not.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere are days for facing the world, and there are days for becoming a pair of suspicious little eyes in the darkness until conditions improve. This soft, lightweight tee is comfortable enough for either.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor the anxious, the overwhelmed, and anyone currently operating on a very strict “please don’t make me deal with anything else today” policy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNot missing. Just emotionally elsewhere.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53947508457837,"sku":"22021578690584063315","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53947508490605,"sku":"98355235703036678283","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53947508523373,"sku":"61819368520149113914","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53947508556141,"sku":"10075505330457982416","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53947508588909,"sku":"99648405968222736999","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53947508621677,"sku":"16928128936238294594","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53947508654445,"sku":"28626650011203354951","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53947508687213,"sku":"14409663148635166012","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53947508719981,"sku":"82533921818973618246","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53947508752749,"sku":"61606954447122502575","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53947508785517,"sku":"66080619868842978210","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53947508818285,"sku":"21143035890852508321","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53947508851053,"sku":"24002760748548720670","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53947508883821,"sku":"31359909486465489838","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53947508916589,"sku":"20545518684356313690","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260911111555-1f1add22-7f46-6fa6-8594-26b53b4cece7.png?v=1790126250"},{"product_id":"feelings-sold-separately","title":"Feelings Sold Separately","description":"\u003cp\u003eWe had Barbie, friendship bracelets, My Little Ponies, and absolutely no idea what adulthood was going to do to us.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBack then, life was pink plastic accessories, impossibly good hair, and imagining a future where being a grown-up looked suspiciously like changing outfits and driving around in a convertible. Nobody mentioned the bills, the burnout, or the eventual desire to stop discussing your feelings altogether.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Emotionally Unavailable”\u003c\/strong\u003e brings a little of that rose-colored childhood optimism into the reality of being grown now — slightly more tired, considerably more complicated, but still very committed to the accessories.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and comfortable enough for anyone who grew up surrounded by pink, ponies, and the firm belief that adulthood was going to be way more fun than this.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTurns out we didn't lose the girl who loved all that stuff. She just has boundaries now.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eSome assembly still required. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54041482625389,"sku":"10402540098306526761","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":53948895035757,"sku":"31884843037316290677","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53948061385069,"sku":"30945853791767808641","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":54041482658157,"sku":"17920089838526975864","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54041482690925,"sku":"42040636601258528573","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53948061450605,"sku":"16068307077143888276","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":54041482723693,"sku":"17771425154990138464","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54041482756461,"sku":"16080730112111765171","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53948061516141,"sku":"16332120132214501926","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":54041482789229,"sku":"17051201512410375497","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54041482821997,"sku":"28265102168659082952","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53948061581677,"sku":"17498273947370269922","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":54041482854765,"sku":"23859315395213670367","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54041482887533,"sku":"29783861296494248203","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53948061647213,"sku":"90560613277720787154","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":54041482920301,"sku":"25997518417537552240","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54041482953069,"sku":"76921729310795840834","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260923113104-1f1b7424-2e53-67d6-9cbc-5a0d42836851.png?v=1790347560"},{"product_id":"had-a-good-run","title":"Had a Good Run","description":"\u003cp\u003eThere was a time when you could stay out until 2 a.m., sleep for four hours, and somehow still look incredible the next day.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Certified Former Heartthrob”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has stumbled across an old photo of themselves and had the deeply confusing realization that they were, in fact, hot. Like... \u003cem\u003ereally\u003c\/em\u003e hot. And somehow spent the entire time convinced otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNow the hair may be doing something different, mysterious noises happen when you stand up, and a night out requires significantly more recovery time. But the evidence exists. You had a run.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and comfortable enough for the current version of you — the one who finally has the confidence your younger self could have used.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor anyone who looks back and thinks, \u003cem\u003edamn, I should've appreciated that more.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFormer heartthrob. \u003cstrong\u003eCurrent legend.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53948514271597,"sku":"22416715520471079421","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53948514304365,"sku":"28911884263829259360","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53948514337133,"sku":"95082879006685181090","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53948514369901,"sku":"22612702183393022955","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53948514402669,"sku":"31941872973506043878","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53948514435437,"sku":"10919406874301468266","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53948514468205,"sku":"26508805835835072528","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53948514500973,"sku":"30150857409739394275","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53948514533741,"sku":"31774052983682232288","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53948514566509,"sku":"31435855607188519628","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53948514599277,"sku":"16249047950200813787","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53948514632045,"sku":"18956355495910052976","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53948514664813,"sku":"19143560163716952425","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53948514697581,"sku":"88168909434870108137","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53948514730349,"sku":"23605363930385629737","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260911131546-1f1ade2e-69fb-6d88-818c-6aed8f1293b1.png?v=1790131033"},{"product_id":"the-olde-internet","title":"The Olde Internet","description":"\u003cp\u003eGather round, children. There was once a time when everyone on the internet had the same friend.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHis name was Tom.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Hear Ye, Hear Ye, Tom Was My Friend”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the generation now old enough to tell tales of an ancient internet — when your profile played music without permission, friendships could be destroyed by a Top 8 ranking, and knowing a little HTML made you feel dangerously powerful.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTom was there through all of it. Quietly smiling from his profile picture while we rearranged our friends, changed our backgrounds, and made several deeply questionable design decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNow we're adults with bills, back pain, and the unsettling realization that our teenage internet history belongs in a museum.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for the elders who remember the old world.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWe were there at the beginning. We've seen things.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53957780996461,"sku":"50195917099582049826","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":53957781029229,"sku":"12585736405426008437","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53957781061997,"sku":"33189275626141491116","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53957781094765,"sku":"16732103517873328520","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53957781127533,"sku":"22354771551356572914","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53957781160301,"sku":"30067205363029509803","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53957781193069,"sku":"59068672107191081824","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53957781225837,"sku":"38569612314359000081","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53957781258605,"sku":"24701563538530782115","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53957781291373,"sku":"61235912980816027196","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53957781324141,"sku":"15178964182565539452","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53957781356909,"sku":"25470263567790403702","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260913130938-1f1af745-fdbd-6b68-954e-faa13439dab6.png?v=1791237987"},{"product_id":"wildly-confident","title":"Wildly Confident","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome people can hide what they're thinking. \u003cstrong\u003eHowie has never been one of those people.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Poker Face”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has ever tried to play it cool while their face was busy telling the entire story. Winning hand? Terrible idea? Absolutely no clue what's happening?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eDoesn't matter. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHowie's bringing the same wildly unjustified confidence to the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone whose facial expressions have betrayed them more than once.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe face says it all. Unfortunately.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53959326171501,"sku":"22613811986421668120","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":53959326204269,"sku":"15962883691150288335","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53959326237037,"sku":"14404337212353731268","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":53959326269805,"sku":"64621085377315456285","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53959326302573,"sku":"19685691360568178477","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53959326335341,"sku":"13474711130144136793","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":53959326368109,"sku":"12303110167186762251","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53959326400877,"sku":"12904075288115452417","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53959326433645,"sku":"21383972246368241388","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":53959326466413,"sku":"26437530294292295536","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53959326499181,"sku":"21756573458433332946","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53959326531949,"sku":"16132335930493258375","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":53959326564717,"sku":"15815904423178905093","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53959326597485,"sku":"29146348203244624632","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53959326630253,"sku":"40700720233905385768","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":53959326663021,"sku":"31102180548558068663","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53959326695789,"sku":"70623057996765245508","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260913204123-1f1afb37-bdd2-6292-aa26-fe0b83af6679.png?v=1789332615"},{"product_id":"swimmingly","title":"Swimmingly","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome moods are harder to explain than others.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Mood” \u003c\/strong\u003eis for anyone who is doing just fine, thanks\u003cstrong\u003e — \u003cem\u003eprovided nobody adds one more thing to the list.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLife has thrown plenty your way, and somehow you're still here — still hopeful, still a little weird, and still finding reasons to make things beautiful.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMaybe everything isn't exactly going according to plan. That's fine. You've gotten surprisingly good at turning \u003cem\u003ethis was not the plan\u003c\/em\u003e into \u003cstrong\u003elook how well I handled that.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eInspired by old-school tattoo flash, this soft, lightweight tee brings vintage attitude to the very modern experience of keeping it together against increasingly questionable odds.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTurns out, you're surprisingly hard to sink. \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53966816215405,"sku":"10073727767796231065","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Navy","offer_id":53966816248173,"sku":"18563262659175202999","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53966816280941,"sku":"10259363987467002627","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":53966816313709,"sku":"92275389518688851759","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":53966816346477,"sku":"20426309666705067882","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":53966816379245,"sku":"10357515319946639112","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53966816412013,"sku":"13290776686398039544","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53966816444781,"sku":"21842466925606013502","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53966816477549,"sku":"22697056831530435705","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53966816510317,"sku":"83372977892652445200","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":53966816543085,"sku":"14939649711303056284","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53966816575853,"sku":"13058236715887219570","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53966816608621,"sku":"31746894642230947335","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53966816641389,"sku":"13251880334038425383","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53966816674157,"sku":"43285454648094745259","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":53966816706925,"sku":"21405083646400820907","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53966816739693,"sku":"24288986343857814324","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53966816772461,"sku":"11132620470999120409","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53966816805229,"sku":"19760286718866474119","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53966816837997,"sku":"11158259849836885267","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53966816870765,"sku":"87726506420375035638","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53966816903533,"sku":"12972259406160109122","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53966816936301,"sku":"19674500072270898999","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53966816969069,"sku":"10575414308823202131","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53966817001837,"sku":"85035017622329851680","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53966817034605,"sku":"25730346570057945457","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53966817067373,"sku":"36620859843039820827","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53966817100141,"sku":"10552502401660738444","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53966817132909,"sku":"97850707243041781378","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53966817165677,"sku":"28687091388417932497","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260915025417-1f1b0b0b-e571-680a-971d-52ecf7dcc91a.png?v=1789441317"},{"product_id":"everything-is-fine","title":"Everything Is Fine","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePlease form an orderly line.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“One Crisis at a Time”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who woke up with a reasonable plan for the day and watched it fall apart before the second cup of coffee.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSomewhere along the way, adulthood became an endless game of figuring out \u003cstrong\u003ewhich problem is currently the most on fire\u003c\/strong\u003e while calmly insisting, \u003cstrong\u003e“Everything is fine.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd you’ll handle it. \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause apparently you're the adult now.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhich feels like a fairly serious oversight considering you still remember when getting through Oregon Trail without dying of dysentery felt like an accomplishment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone juggling deadlines, responsibilities, and the increasingly suspicious feeling that everyone else might also be making this up as they go.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYour crisis is important to us. Please hold.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53976398397805,"sku":"21604618292700425577","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53976398430573,"sku":"24080978027986689267","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":53976398463341,"sku":"18200892856501407874","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53976398496109,"sku":"28849159523070209945","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53976398528877,"sku":"25566598012622531735","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53976398561645,"sku":"10577139323700484830","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53976398594413,"sku":"12558573361528515497","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53976398627181,"sku":"22838566865257194714","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53976398659949,"sku":"20905655581185000886","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53976398692717,"sku":"33419186847698978918","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53976398725485,"sku":"10461427023032392380","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53976398758253,"sku":"33066519094980952343","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53976398791021,"sku":"61404113903367105727","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53976398823789,"sku":"57474744416613762762","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53976398856557,"sku":"39451018619472624822","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53976398889325,"sku":"13384436235376205391","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53976398922093,"sku":"23540827975629827582","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53976398954861,"sku":"19985979359613504921","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53976398987629,"sku":"95495518425099869568","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Chocolate","offer_id":53976399020397,"sku":"29084015356895918104","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53976399053165,"sku":"29363722438295345025","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53976399085933,"sku":"30177458938247645432","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53976399118701,"sku":"22195604598084250771","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260916033115-1f1b17f1-2aa8-68be-a3a5-2eec803c3130.png?v=1789529941"},{"product_id":"still-thinking-about-it","title":"Still Thinking About It","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt started as one completely reasonable thought.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Overthinking Since 1995”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who can turn a two-word text response into a forty-five-minute investigation of tone, punctuation, motive, and everything they've ever done wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNothing is ever just \u003cem\u003efine.\u003c\/em\u003e Fine could mean fine. Fine could mean not fine. Fine could mean they're mad at you. Fine could mean they're not mad at you, but now you've spent so long wondering if they're mad at you that you've somehow become mad at yourself.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eExcellent work, brain.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeanwhile, one mildly awkward thing you said in 2007 has resurfaced for absolutely no reason and would apparently like to be discussed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone whose brain has never encountered a rabbit hole it didn't immediately want to explore.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNo problem too small to think about for the next six business days.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Charcoal","offer_id":53979367113069,"sku":"14162464001516626614","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Charcoal","offer_id":53979367145837,"sku":"22351172299900221878","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53979367178605,"sku":"33218921367310223743","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53979367211373,"sku":"36647299433318093169","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Charcoal","offer_id":53979367244141,"sku":"15892533006170867070","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53979367276909,"sku":"28385642188014930881","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53979367309677,"sku":"32486319071598709596","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Charcoal","offer_id":53979367342445,"sku":"11072867501105941053","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53979367375213,"sku":"17680350122025958898","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53979367407981,"sku":"94569210124637110481","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Charcoal","offer_id":53979367440749,"sku":"32689455509553160262","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53979367473517,"sku":"22120473925114065230","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53979367506285,"sku":"17714892029549775693","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Charcoal","offer_id":53979367539053,"sku":"30256424404841329061","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53979367571821,"sku":"15067809714680924199","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53979367604589,"sku":"11569467328442646242","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53979367637357,"sku":"88300661346921872300","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":53979367670125,"sku":"14695435716239252246","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260916125032-1f1b1cd3-451a-6242-a7a5-de869420422a.png?v=1789563403"},{"product_id":"hard-pass","title":"Hard Pass","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNothing personal. I just won't be joining you.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Please Continue Without Me”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has ever watched plans forming around them and immediately started thinking about how nice it would be to stay home.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's not that people are bad. People are fine. In reasonable quantities. But there's something deeply satisfying about realizing you don't actually have to go anywhere, talk to anyone, or put on real pants.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSometimes the best move is quietly removing yourself from the equation. \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe world may continue with its plans, group chats, and unnecessary social interaction. You'll catch up later.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eMaybe.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who considers a canceled plan less of a disappointment and more of a \u003cstrong\u003esurprise evening upgrade.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHave fun. Tell no one I was supposed to be there.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53979449196909,"sku":"17708346039778342128","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53979449229677,"sku":"18353693083208686247","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":53979449262445,"sku":"27099118246865615802","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53979449295213,"sku":"24926919581755681559","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53979449327981,"sku":"45408301950602539536","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53979449360749,"sku":"13674855467693980427","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53979449393517,"sku":"31428610837375788242","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53979449426285,"sku":"12146532725857767583","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53979449459053,"sku":"64155413357838203669","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53979449491821,"sku":"25445849458636934735","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53979449524589,"sku":"21707852865016720560","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53979449557357,"sku":"98734396685801977451","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53979449590125,"sku":"95016653293782039511","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53979449622893,"sku":"29465789723934992164","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53979449655661,"sku":"26632752203298350498","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53979449688429,"sku":"20053668327729006669","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53979449721197,"sku":"32396933470302286266","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53979449753965,"sku":"18934830787095315742","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260916132621-1f1b1d23-52d2-6fd8-b881-7a630e23a206.png?v=1789565707"},{"product_id":"request-denied","title":"Request Denied","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThank you for thinking of me. Unfortunately, no.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Respectfully... No.”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has reached the beautiful stage of adulthood where a complete lack of interest is finally starting to feel like a valid reason.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou don't need an elaborate excuse. You don't need a scheduling conflict. You don't need to spend twenty minutes composing a text that somehow makes declining something sound like an unavoidable medical emergency.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSometimes you simply don't want to.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAnd that is remarkably freeing.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone getting increasingly comfortable with protecting their time, their energy, and the occasional evening spent doing absolutely nothing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThank you for your consideration. The answer remains no.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53989479547245,"sku":"25699709119469762660","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":53989479580013,"sku":"21231105906304338739","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53989479612781,"sku":"16402234944808082670","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53989479645549,"sku":"10745071001918027336","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53989479678317,"sku":"43961161453041369968","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53989479711085,"sku":"30895557496484129725","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53989479743853,"sku":"53106450837157595380","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53989479776621,"sku":"27858456401122863780","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53989479809389,"sku":"22144603153269082631","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53989479842157,"sku":"12437688050096055087","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53989479874925,"sku":"87873406558810744569","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53989479907693,"sku":"14375767842396712538","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260918024112-1f1b30a6-9b24-6872-a369-e2c7ad4de7f4.png?v=1789699580"},{"product_id":"survival-mode","title":"Survival Mode","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou came for supplies. Social interaction was not on the list.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“I’m Just Here to Scavenge”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who approaches leaving the house with a very specific mission: locate the necessities, acquire something to eat, and return to the safety of home with minimal complications.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou’re not browsing. You’re not making a day of it. And you definitely didn’t come prepared for an unexpected conversation in aisle seven.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou have objectives.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eGet the coffee. Find the snacks. Grab whatever else is currently keeping this operation functional and get out before somebody suggests doing another thing while you’re already out.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSomehow adulthood has become less about thriving and more about periodically emerging from your habitat to gather provisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone doing a surprisingly convincing impression of a functional adult despite operating primarily on \u003cstrong\u003esnacks, caffeine, and limited social availability.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGather what you need. Scurry home.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994072637805,"sku":"19469021398018839308","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53994072670573,"sku":"19578094370669195188","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":53994072703341,"sku":"53676676270560792589","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":53994072736109,"sku":"67954075674784799861","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53994072768877,"sku":"32522611581736848819","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53994072801645,"sku":"90786761268098615015","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53994072834413,"sku":"28274174752154768471","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994072867181,"sku":"12747651004296540816","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53994072899949,"sku":"22862644284312090215","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53994072932717,"sku":"98080722127894784135","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53994072965485,"sku":"18457109757251096356","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994072998253,"sku":"23498212091052332519","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53994073031021,"sku":"15836531164936484792","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53994073063789,"sku":"89928273278388242147","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53994073096557,"sku":"26074886804860451285","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994073129325,"sku":"29106774355338465914","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53994073162093,"sku":"21237441696491069581","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53994073194861,"sku":"52691194511576115497","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53994073227629,"sku":"17511058510513456287","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994073260397,"sku":"22920000449320048349","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":53994073293165,"sku":"26492975938860957213","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53994073325933,"sku":"28030411283657764372","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53994073358701,"sku":"29142164074162568973","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994073391469,"sku":"30121905692364656787","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260918124108-1f1b35e3-85a2-6a52-a96e-7aa1bef04118.png?v=1789735773"},{"product_id":"no-use-crying","title":"No Use Crying","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWell. That could have gone better.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Sip Happens”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has learned that sometimes life spills the milk, ruins the plan, sends the wrong text, forgets the appointment, and generally refuses to cooperate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou can overthink it. You can replay it seventeen times. You can construct an elaborate alternate timeline where you did everything differently.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOr you can call it what it is: \u003cem\u003esip happens.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere’s something freeing about realizing not every little disaster requires a full emotional investigation. Sometimes things go sideways. Sometimes you make a mess. Sometimes the only reasonable response is to clean it up and keep going.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone learning to give themselves a little grace when things don't go exactly according to plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSpilled milk. Survived anyway.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994190864749,"sku":"10016043859179422710","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":53994190897517,"sku":"31509551774280004423","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":53994190930285,"sku":"74800654726762949793","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":53994190963053,"sku":"13979042978862070989","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53994190995821,"sku":"26012512873128717825","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":53994191028589,"sku":"93144822468626288619","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994191061357,"sku":"10333574832466422359","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":53994191094125,"sku":"25212025717884067508","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53994191126893,"sku":"14297781368652118018","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":53994191159661,"sku":"20055852541733158262","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994191192429,"sku":"68956492712615056748","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":53994191225197,"sku":"20126235192658943997","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53994191257965,"sku":"61232947210019667711","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":53994191290733,"sku":"25570485200357719488","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994191323501,"sku":"23089692601190691993","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":53994191356269,"sku":"52754367055684376727","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53994191389037,"sku":"11350895527627609202","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":53994191421805,"sku":"28170590538134746351","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994191454573,"sku":"98246809906632662284","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":53994191487341,"sku":"51916906680948394057","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53994191520109,"sku":"15774884052084530595","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Purple","offer_id":53994191552877,"sku":"91160383207042618484","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994191585645,"sku":"29230404886772667323","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260918130852-1f1b3621-8b75-6e8c-8afa-060c4cb0996c.png?v=1789737147"},{"product_id":"seasoned","title":"Seasoned","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAt some point, experience starts looking suspiciously like wisdom.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“I Know Things”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has been around long enough to have accumulated a surprisingly useful collection of information.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNot from books, necessarily.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFrom bad jobs. Bad dates. Bad decisions. Things that seemed like a good idea at the time and stories that now begin with \u003cstrong\u003e“Okay, \u003cem\u003ewhat had happened was…” \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe know which battles aren't worth fighting. We know when something sounds too good to be true. We know that one friend is absolutely getting back together with their ex no matter what we say.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWe've seen some things. We've learned some things.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who may not have all the answers, but definitely has enough life experience to recognize several of the wrong ones.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWisdom is just bad judgment with a good memory.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994954260845,"sku":"27210477672153637984","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Navy","offer_id":53994954293613,"sku":"15691697759177031433","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":53994954326381,"sku":"15807990821831633615","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":53994954359149,"sku":"64213246688911711337","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":53994954391917,"sku":"31169057755821501192","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994954424685,"sku":"75350839995472715700","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":53994954457453,"sku":"10226551048394936161","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":53994954490221,"sku":"91043535633277974961","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994954522989,"sku":"20209511409694899282","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":53994954555757,"sku":"20274962130407273151","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":53994954588525,"sku":"45720518024882768199","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994954621293,"sku":"22190097340786747882","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53994954654061,"sku":"29984686561016215643","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":53994954686829,"sku":"32684757496159805753","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994954719597,"sku":"28341224529464486940","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":53994954752365,"sku":"23308464037230243160","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":53994954785133,"sku":"19990584225976735350","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":53994954817901,"sku":"20918742557562850373","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260918144125-1f1b36f0-6697-6000-8290-327a3ed8b47b.png?v=1789743348"},{"product_id":"handle-with-care","title":"Handle With Care","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThere is a limit to how long some of us can behave in public.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“I Bite Socially”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who can people perfectly well — right up until they've had enough.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou make the small talk. You smile. You nod. You let several things go that absolutely deserved a response.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAnd then somebody pushes their luck.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMaybe you snap. Maybe the filter finally gives out. Maybe you just say the brutally honest thing everyone else in the room was thinking.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEither way, there's only so much socializing one person can reasonably be expected to endure.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, lightweight, and made for anyone who tries to play nice but makes no guarantees once the social battery starts flashing red.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGenerally friendly. Occasionally rabid.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54042593198445,"sku":"13453203781883292601","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54042593231213,"sku":"19201024147126206150","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ White","offer_id":54042593263981,"sku":"31935604940156351354","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":54042593296749,"sku":"15123740076452813155","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54042593329517,"sku":"95086508550973427519","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":54042593362285,"sku":"32061921673240328164","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":54042593395053,"sku":"60561894085480438829","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54042593427821,"sku":"30109498284638886075","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Maroon","offer_id":54042593460589,"sku":"33231446818764074783","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54042593493357,"sku":"26280037168592928562","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":54042593526125,"sku":"72585618055682155507","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":54042593558893,"sku":"12094819799372129772","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54042593591661,"sku":"23440239283114540347","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Maroon","offer_id":54042593624429,"sku":"12661369584429005697","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54042593657197,"sku":"19147712996900384484","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":54042593689965,"sku":"22388873451326686536","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":54042593722733,"sku":"14639775764670734367","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54042593755501,"sku":"15410223423987536263","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Maroon","offer_id":54042593788269,"sku":"16987899811873555339","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54042593821037,"sku":"16969154630352137664","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":54042593853805,"sku":"28902111122464579642","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":54042593886573,"sku":"29576801602683404374","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54042593919341,"sku":"69441039929638074352","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Maroon","offer_id":54042593952109,"sku":"20158275141374056563","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54042593984877,"sku":"13579468053723808690","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":54042594017645,"sku":"92567449678064923052","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":54042594050413,"sku":"19380595752739937227","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54042594083181,"sku":"31594484874735320207","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Maroon","offer_id":54042594115949,"sku":"15428406897510787503","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260923140121-1f1b7574-1b64-63fe-93c8-aa0e0147e4c9.png?v=1790172480"},{"product_id":"bad-company","title":"Bad Company","description":"\u003cp\u003eGetting older was mandatory. \u003cem\u003eBecoming a good influence was apparently optional.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Still a Terrible Influence”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has reached the age where they should probably know better — and occasionally chooses not to.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou’re not necessarily starting the trouble. You’re just standing nearby saying things like, \u003cstrong\u003e“You know what would be funny?”\u003c\/strong\u003e And honestly, that kind of support is hard to find.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe flaming match brings just the right amount of questionable energy to a soft, lightweight tee made for everyday bad ideas.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor the friends who encourage the story instead of preventing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOlder. Wiser. \u003cstrong\u003eStill not the voice of reason.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54054904267117,"sku":"15933741482440870444","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":54054904299885,"sku":"16059400837143913375","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":54054904332653,"sku":"32419020854936593989","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54054904365421,"sku":"45083006285500476238","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54054904398189,"sku":"67625388185324811319","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":54054904430957,"sku":"17969527953667245138","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":54054904463725,"sku":"19999355723739973112","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54054904496493,"sku":"65126872343945951632","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54054904529261,"sku":"10138579857584128610","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":54054904562029,"sku":"18481478338084111225","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":54054904594797,"sku":"10809249841976846346","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54054904627565,"sku":"17678606655969554433","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54054904660333,"sku":"31026006093137114046","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":54054904693101,"sku":"12600767482047387463","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":54054904725869,"sku":"12630562363828442224","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54054904758637,"sku":"91004162981863373738","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54054904791405,"sku":"14871441908298720752","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":54054904824173,"sku":"30910181231769572907","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":54054904856941,"sku":"19601444000635602063","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54054904889709,"sku":"30905341952330983218","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54054904922477,"sku":"27828092706919156987","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":54054904955245,"sku":"45554266393786719355","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":54054904988013,"sku":"20500789088480385352","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54054905020781,"sku":"12476045608072966405","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260925122424-1f1b8dc0-b72d-6a7e-8bbc-921e54d70e93.png?v=1790339451"},{"product_id":"do-not-disturb","title":"Do Not Disturb","description":"\u003cp\u003eAt some point, you stop trying to get your life together and \u003cstrong\u003estart getting comfortable with the pile.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Please Leave Me to My Trash”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has made peace with the fact that this is probably as organized as things are going to get.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe emails can wait. The paperwork isn't going anywhere. And whatever is happening over there sounds suspiciously like someone else's problem.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis soft, lightweight tee pairs a delightfully unbothered trash panda with the kind of boundary only years of being asked to circle back can create.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor anyone who isn't looking to be rescued, improved, or added to another meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe trash is fine. \u003cem\u003ePlease close the door.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":54055054934381,"sku":"33442938128161855624","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54055054967149,"sku":"19019067147211328095","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":54055054999917,"sku":"82709806648870584597","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54055055032685,"sku":"36297170271224372565","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":54055055065453,"sku":"47467064905047230241","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54055055098221,"sku":"24149498392595165305","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":54055055130989,"sku":"87637240078571189182","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54055055163757,"sku":"22378947919675428829","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":54055055196525,"sku":"22594920604489836048","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54055055229293,"sku":"21813225079419464451","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":54055055262061,"sku":"16035102754859325410","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54055055294829,"sku":"31337219489193590008","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260925131438-1f1b8e30-f906-68ae-87a8-f2f8221bff53.png?v=1790342254"},{"product_id":"player-fatigue","title":"Player Fatigue","description":"\u003cp\u003eNobody warned us the adult campaign would have this many pointless side quests.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Trash Quest”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who grew up saving worlds, defeating bosses, and completing missions only to discover that adulthood mostly consists of errands you \u003cstrong\u003enever agreed\u003c\/strong\u003e to accept.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe objective keeps changing, the map is mostly useless, and somehow there’s always another task waiting the second you finish the last one. At this point, the unimpressed cat sitting on a trash can feels less like a character and more like \u003cstrong\u003ean accurate representation of morale.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWith its early-2000s video game-inspired look, this soft, lightweight tee is made for former players currently working their way through the least exciting campaign imaginable.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMain quest unclear. \u003cem\u003eSide quests everywhere.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54055092224365,"sku":"30242903992085907529","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":54055092257133,"sku":"10609117976137349059","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":54055092289901,"sku":"20819720560220339765","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54055092322669,"sku":"21275865694394612538","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54055092355437,"sku":"65022419664125412169","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":54055092388205,"sku":"21128441582536407521","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":54055092420973,"sku":"23402949227889122891","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54055092453741,"sku":"99803486339168678905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54055092486509,"sku":"31831670723483826694","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":54055092519277,"sku":"62483114662162065463","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":54055092552045,"sku":"19490754069178253472","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54055092584813,"sku":"26072674454370332624","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54055092617581,"sku":"28649457750883531642","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":54055092650349,"sku":"17003732378304068003","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":54055092683117,"sku":"29828509902530980765","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54055092715885,"sku":"12585874946039101184","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54055092748653,"sku":"31868241347096159498","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":54055092781421,"sku":"71238775604632118283","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":54055092814189,"sku":"12923668192133754498","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54055092846957,"sku":"22265174268010132761","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":54055092879725,"sku":"26138106829458701985","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":54055092912493,"sku":"24123511131449592016","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":54055092945261,"sku":"19070135058335138521","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":54055092978029,"sku":"14982271598815737200","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260925132700-1f1b8e4c-9c92-66c4-83f1-067b62a47236.png?v=1790343251"},{"product_id":"good-time-to-be-alive","title":"Good Time to Be Alive","description":"\u003cp\u003eAt some point, the existential crisis stops being a crisis and just becomes part of the schedule.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Dancing Through the Existential Dread”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who has looked directly at the general state of things, decided there’s probably not much they can do about it right this second, and carried on anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause apparently \u003cstrong\u003ethis is adulthood:\u003c\/strong\u003e paying bills, answering emails, making appointments, and trying to find plenty of reasons to have a good time in between. The world may be a little ridiculous, but that doesn’t mean we can’t attempt to enjoy ourselves.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, comfortable, and made for facing the void without ruining the vibe.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe existential dread may be permanent. Fortunately, so is our ability to \u003cem\u003emake it weird.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Charcoal","offer_id":67572449706349,"sku":"18808416242096052424","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS \/ Black","offer_id":67572449739117,"sku":"28988162053673799777","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Charcoal","offer_id":67572449771885,"sku":"21789870694780534703","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67572449804653,"sku":"30179919772510813156","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Charcoal","offer_id":67572449837421,"sku":"26188110203702864617","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67572449870189,"sku":"11235672443814089205","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Charcoal","offer_id":67572449902957,"sku":"30600907536791348855","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67572449935725,"sku":"96007822495817057217","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Charcoal","offer_id":67572449968493,"sku":"12872667740143201138","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67572450001261,"sku":"32730352608594310662","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Charcoal","offer_id":67572450034029,"sku":"32545932546616224158","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67572450066797,"sku":"22418208996883305100","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Charcoal","offer_id":67572450099565,"sku":"30197318345252243157","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":67572450132333,"sku":"89580733829330468464","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260927125539-1f1ba72b-d8b3-6b74-9c4a-96e7371e878c.png?v=1790517057"},{"product_id":"nothing-s-wrong","title":"Nothing’s Wrong","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome faces just weren’t built for unnecessary enthusiasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“This Is My Resting Face”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone who’s ever been asked if they’re okay when they were, in fact, \u003cem\u003eperfectly fine.\u003c\/em\u003e Nothing’s wrong. Nobody’s mad. This is simply what the face is doing right now.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMaybe it’s the heavy eyelids. Maybe it’s the complete lack of interest in performing happiness for strangers. Either way, explaining it for the hundredth time somehow feels more exhausting than just letting people wonder.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, comfortable, and made for looking exactly as thrilled as the situation requires.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePlease stop asking.\u003c\/strong\u003e \u003cem\u003eThe face has already issued its statement.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Charcoal","offer_id":67572734067053,"sku":"80847835679918235535","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67572734099821,"sku":"12750951671226670426","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Charcoal","offer_id":67572734132589,"sku":"10406920773282720894","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67572734165357,"sku":"27726444680552708818","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Charcoal","offer_id":67572734198125,"sku":"42251045068127525419","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67572734230893,"sku":"16133584024776419644","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Charcoal","offer_id":67572734263661,"sku":"14602819353059815532","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67572734296429,"sku":"25213992877977650062","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Charcoal","offer_id":67572734329197,"sku":"77075663145823463000","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67572734361965,"sku":"10263108841947501355","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Charcoal","offer_id":67572734394733,"sku":"24902536829279113510","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":67572734427501,"sku":"22548228400182977463","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260927153525-1f1ba890-f023-6aaa-91e2-d292dfe00576.png?v=1790523501"},{"product_id":"peak-hours","title":"Peak Hours","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome people wake up ready to seize the day. Some of us would like the day to stop contacting us until further notice.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e“Night Rider”\u003c\/strong\u003e is for anyone whose internal clock has always been a little more comfortable after dark. Somehow the energy returns, the brain starts working, and suddenly 11 p.m. feels like an\u003cstrong\u003e excellent time\u003c\/strong\u003e to begin accomplishing things.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMaybe it’s staying up way too late. Maybe it’s finally enjoying the peace and quiet. Or maybe nighttime is simply when the personality clocks in. Either way, this owl has places to be and absolutely no intention of turning in early.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, comfortable, and made for night owls who were never particularly interested in an early bedtime.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe night is young. \u003cem\u003eBedtime remains negotiable.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Light Blue","offer_id":67575410917741,"sku":"13097113918649321221","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":67575410950509,"sku":"27754932309791470077","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":67575410983277,"sku":"16060402972416932768","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67575411016045,"sku":"21171501972391322905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":67575411048813,"sku":"32598956832631013272","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Light Blue","offer_id":67575411081581,"sku":"10091943738437750610","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":67575411114349,"sku":"52928481592449823551","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":67575411147117,"sku":"29272815340056777038","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67575411179885,"sku":"94449779838895592868","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":67575411212653,"sku":"83343119297032361239","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Light Blue","offer_id":67575411245421,"sku":"43897372552166148136","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":67575411278189,"sku":"21344324382682125870","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":67575411310957,"sku":"24868943377524928334","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67575411343725,"sku":"29180807070424460511","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":67575411376493,"sku":"75012490589330112452","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Light Blue","offer_id":67575411409261,"sku":"21057387444493328818","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67575411442029,"sku":"78924290104526730938","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":67575411474797,"sku":"28849281180630272765","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67575411507565,"sku":"23850641436029043893","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":67575411540333,"sku":"26649468964836946038","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Light Blue","offer_id":67575411573101,"sku":"25835678314364772276","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67575411605869,"sku":"13735421514033093312","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":67575411638637,"sku":"32511193610172694153","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67575411671405,"sku":"31016865983535340550","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":67575411704173,"sku":"22069802366522117573","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Light Blue","offer_id":67575411736941,"sku":"17065594102662650511","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67575411769709,"sku":"22411913768992105687","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":67575411802477,"sku":"93383408761318564612","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":67575411835245,"sku":"23981284000481277910","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":67575411868013,"sku":"13349839417098783914","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260927191212-1f1baa75-7d48-62f6-a347-9e08e0350cec.png?v=1790595707"},{"product_id":"system-overload","title":"System Overload","description":"\u003cp\u003eRemember when a frozen computer just needed a minute? \u003cem\u003eSame.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"Please Hold. I’m Processing\"\u003c\/strong\u003e is for the millennial running on limited memory, too many open tabs, and the growing suspicion that nothing has actually loaded since 2007. Give it a second. There’s a lot going on back there.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft, comfortable, and made for anyone whose internal loading bar has stopped providing updates.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePLEASE DO NOT CTRL + ALT + DELETE ME.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":67578938196333,"sku":"32137160232700656493","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67578938229101,"sku":"28364611088343561644","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67578938261869,"sku":"23561309680977353083","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":67578938294637,"sku":"11315654689630901939","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":67578938327405,"sku":"33923978171229703528","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67578938360173,"sku":"28819966475395204000","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67578938392941,"sku":"41557300389527191562","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":67578938425709,"sku":"19173818373142228804","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":67578938458477,"sku":"21986596996713497768","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67578938491245,"sku":"33139045444282265868","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67578938524013,"sku":"53896186468575269951","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":67578938556781,"sku":"12313827141957258167","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":67578938589549,"sku":"83024081379490391681","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67578938622317,"sku":"18030057219167765620","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67578938655085,"sku":"29639379326613899475","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":67578938687853,"sku":"64331964064792324537","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":67578938720621,"sku":"76612811425787217868","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67578938753389,"sku":"80232408387716794656","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67578938786157,"sku":"26883850228617923648","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":67578938818925,"sku":"33812965134624775514","price":30.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":67578938851693,"sku":"12265238997707566274","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ White","offer_id":67578938884461,"sku":"15994576911604865846","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Black","offer_id":67578938917229,"sku":"11615083295352023851","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Dark Heather","offer_id":67578938949997,"sku":"29787467766169593339","price":31.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1014\/9062\/2829\/files\/20260928151459-1f1bb4f5-f25c-64f4-875d-765a83132916.png?v=1790608812"}],"url":"https:\/\/laughinghyenas.com\/collections\/millennial-crisis.oembed?page=2","provider":"Laughing Hyenas LLC","version":"1.0","type":"link"}